Confessions of a Liberal Puritan

'Tis the season, again, and with the dramatic increase in whining from my students upon their return from Thanksgiving break on Monday, I couldn't resist dusting off this piece of 'deathless poetry' from November of 2004, The 12 Days of Advent (for adjunct professors near the semester's end)

And here's the slightly updated version for this year:

[11/30/08]
On the first day of Advent, my students came to me --
With a pile of papers, killing a tree.

[12/01/08]
On the second day of Advent, my students came to me --
With two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.

[12/02/08]
On the third day of Advent, my students came to me --
With three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.

[12/03/08]
On the fourth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.

[12/04/08]
On the fifth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.

[12/05/08]
On the sixth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.

[12/06/08]
On the seventh day of Advent, my students came to me --
With seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.

[12/07/08]
On the eighth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With eight term paper re-writes,
Seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.

[12/08/08]
On the ninth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With nine pleas for lenience,
Eight term paper re-writes,
Seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.

[12/09/08]
On the tenth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With ten early flights home,
Nine pleas for lenience,
Eight term paper re-writes,
Seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.

[12/10/08]
On the eleventh day of Advent, my students came to me --
With eleven last-minute questions,
Ten early flights home,
Nine pleas for lenience,
Eight term paper re-writes,
Seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.

[12/11/08]
On the twelfth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With twelve missing blue-books,
Eleven last-minute questions,
Ten early flights home,
Nine pleas for lenience,
Eight term paper re-writes,
Seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.