Confessions of a Liberal Puritan

Presenting the conclusion to this poem in honor of missmurchison's birthday today:

( part 1 of 'Nancy Murchison and the Case of the Missing Scotch' )

By dint of much hard work and sharp elbow greasing,
the three lady sleuths found the distance decreasing
between them and their quarry, a leather-clad phantom,
his hair bleached white-blond and his fighting weight bantam.
“To the Murchison-Mobile!” cried Miss M, and “Away!”
as she drove like a madwoman after her prey.

While Kes and Rev. Dorothy held on for dear life,
Miss M sped ‘round curves that were sharp as a knife
(not unlike the thief’s cheekbones, as Dorothy noted,
and Kes quite concurred, asking not to be quoted).
When Miss M’s sporty roadster finally cornered the poacher
of potent potations, he had the nerve to approach her!

He said, “Not bad, luv! You followed my clues,
and here’s your reward: a film with your booze!”
Following his gesture, Miss M saw just beyond
a drive-in movie screen, and her smile became fond.
All the guests for her party, armed with every amenity,
had come to the drive-in, where they were showing “Serenity.”

“Surprise!” said Kes and Dorothy and Mr. M, who’d conspired
to turn Miss M’s birthday into an evening inspired.
“Thanks to our friend, here, and his knack for Scotch-snatching,
we were able to get you here, and without you catching
on to our game. Weren’t we smart?” “You’re not wrong,”
Miss M smiled as she said, so they’d never guess she’d known all along.


*The inclusion of non-alcoholic soda pop was due to the presence of Miss Murchison’s under-age daughters, of course.