Confessions of a Liberal Puritan

Three years ago, I posted this bit of doggerel in honor of the 20th anniversary of the airing of the first MacGyver episode.

The poem hasn't gotten any better with age, but here it is again, anyway, in case you missed it the first time:

(Sept. 29, 2008 being the 23rd anniversary of the airing of the MacGyver pilot episode on U.S. television.)

Hail to thee, Saint MacGyver,
for seven years a constant striver
after peace and eco-justice.
Your legacy lives on—just trust us!

This hallowed day (your pseudo-natal)
we dedicate to stunts non-fatal
and creative use of science lore
that ushered out an old, Cold War.

In Opening Gambits by folks like Terry Nation
you first captured our imagination.
Your Swiss Army Knife and roll of Duct tape
got you out of more than one scrape.

We celebrate those seasons when you
became a social conscience venue,
and “All Things Considered” was a week behind
on liberal issues that you brought to mind.

Though guns you did not care to handle,
no well-armed thug could hold a candle
to your talent for turning all things found
into minor miracles upon the ground.

When relationship issues got too hairy,
Your “Serenity” was Legend-ary.*
And even arch-foe Murdoc couldn’t resist
returning to you, the one he missed.

So, here’s to health food and clean living! --
we can stand it for a day, to show thanksgiving
for one who taught but did not harangue us.
And we’ll never tell that you were baptized “Angus”!

*In the Old West dream episodes Serenity (#95) and MacGyver's Women (#112), MacGyver got a chance to work out a quarrel with best buddy Pete Thornton and then the suggestion from three of the women in his life that he was (gasp!) commitment-phobic — all the while sporting a shaggy mustache and manner that we would see again on Richard Dean Anderson’s short-lived UPN series Legend (a Science Fiction Western more reminiscent of The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. than The Wild, Wild West, at times, with RDA playing Nicodemus Legend, fictional hero of his own dime novels, and John DeLancie as the Bohemian scientist who turned Legend’s imaginary inventions into reality and Legend himself into a reluctant real hero).