Confessions of a Liberal Puritan

This second B/S/A "poem" extolling the stabilizing quality of adding Spike to the Buffy-Angel dynamic was stuck in my head this morning when I woke up, so there's nothing I can do but jot it down here and hope it'll leave me alone, after that. (missmurchison, look what you've done to me! Be afraid -- be very afraid!)

With thanks to the professors who taught me about the history of church architecture in seminary (I always knew that information would come in handy some day), and to jonesiexxx for the "vamp-cramp" rhyme, which she used first in her twisted version of "God Rest Ye Merry":



In medieval times prayerful reflections
Issued in immense erections --
Cathedrals of a gothic bent,
Whose glories could not stand unaided
(No pre-stressed concrete, steel up-graded),
So flying buttresses they did invent --
An external rafter.

In Sunnydale, a Slayer's volition
To mate oft looks like demolition,
As walls and relationships come crashing down.
Her first love fell to problems thorny
(A world imperilled from getting horny),
So Angel decided he must leave town,
Lest he shaft her.

But Spike's an aerodynamic vamp
(In spite of his troubles with "muscle cramp"),
And a jolly 'buttress' he could be.
Like Jericho in reverse, his horn
Can bolster walls that once were torn,
That all three might live semi-happily
Ever after.


I think I need to go pray for forgiveness, now. Or else figure out how to work "English Perpendicular" into the poem somewhere (thanks to a suggestion from keswindhover)!