(miss murchison made me do this). Running it up the flag-pole -- dissertation proposal roughage : comments.
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Re: Ideas
Although she had her own fair share of insecurities, unlike Willow, Tara was not one to abuse trust or power. When she and Willow cast spells together, it was cooperative and mutual, and that made the resulting magic/feelings all the more meaningful. Is that what you mean? If yes, I certainly agree. That said, I don't think that Tara only saw magic in terms of lovemaking. She also knew its usefulness as a weapon in fighting evil; it's just that she never expected her own lover to wield it as such against her, even though Willow never thought of herself as hurting Tara with her manipulations.
Willow and Tara had some fundamentally different values, and those differences spilled over onto their use of magic. What fascinates me most about their story is how Willow's betrayal was foretold back in Restless when the former wrote a poem (http://bothsidesnow.co.uk/bothsides2001/somesweets/willowpoem.html) on the latter's back.