Confessions of a Liberal Puritan

For anyone who's interested, and who didn't already see these *cough* poetic tributes to the Rayne and Jiverick fic of goddessofbirth, here's a reprise:

The Genius of Jiverick

I apologize in advance for trying to rhyme 'conclusion' with 'bosom' near the end, but it was late in the day when I wrote this and I was just starting to recover from bronchitis, and so I can't really be held responsible for any of this, can I?

There’s a crossover fic to which we’re quite partial
‘bout a Genius, a Merc, and a reluctant Lord Marshal.

It starts with a search for a safe resting place
for Kyra (once ‘Jack’) that no robber could trace,
which brings Riddick and crew to the home of the Reavers --
Miranda, that is, for all you Browncoat true believers.

Then just when it seems that Riddick’s next on the menu,
a psychic pilot appears to grace the new venue
with her fast dance of death and her red-dripping blades.
What Riddick loves best, well . . . River’s got it in spades.

It seems a match made in heaven (or the other location!),
but wait! There’s a hitch in their plans for consummation.
Then it’s Jayne to the rescue (as we should have expected),
giving River and Riddick their chance to get all . . . ‘connected’.

Fast-forward a bit, and we find all three on the loose,
broken free from Serenity's emotional noose.
They’re doing quite well, having formed a strong threesome
(including many sex scenes, so us fangirls can ‘squee!’ some).

But their ‘rogue bounty hunter’ days are obviously numbered,
when River gets pregnant, and thus somewhat encumbered.
So her Mates (Jayne and Riddick) reach the reluctant conclusion
that it’s time to return to their former crew’s bosom.

And that’s as far as I’ve read, but I’m eager to see
what our goddess has planned for these dear killers three!

______________

Rayne Limericks

I tried to write some nicely smutty Rayne limericks, but they came out awfully PG, I'm afraid! 'Mildly raunchy' seems to be the best I could do, and even that only rarely. *hangs head in shame*

There once was a man they called Jayne,
who had a talent for causing mayhem and pain.
But when he saw the doc’s sister
slaughter Reavers, he kissed her,
and he’s now raising kids, instead of Cain.

_____________________

There was a young lady named River
who felt quite a pleasurable shiver
whenever this merc
lifted weights with a jerk,
as she watched with her 'girl parts' a-quiver.

_____________________

There once was a goddess of birth
who gifted her readers with mirth
when she wrote lots of Rayne
and helped ease the pain
that too often plagues life on this earth.