"What Would Sigmund Say?" part 4 : comments [Confessions of a Liberal Puritan]

I am following your Freudian (and now Winnicottian) journey with interest, RevD. And I like your casserole analogy.

From this post, though, I'm not entirely clear if you mean that you wanted your parents to be more like you? Or just different (more empathetic?) people generally. Or possibly both....

p.s. since you are thinking about families and Buffy, you might want to take a look at the discussion going on in

thisficklemob's journal at present - about Joyce, and particularly, Buffy - and the effect of having Dawn foisted on them.

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Thanks for the link! I think what I used to long for was for my parents to be ABLE to understand me and appreciate and even approve of the ways in which I differed from them. I always felt that my parents wanted me to be more like them, and couldn't understand my "failure" to share their tastes, talents, and temperament. In my experience, the pressure to conform and be a chip-off-the-old-block is more likely to come from the parent to the children, rather than from the children trying to remake the parents in THEIR own image. Does that make sense?

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I think parents all feel a desire for their children to do things and like things they themselves approve of - after all they spend 20 years trying to mould them, so it must follow.

The critical thing is whether they can accept, and adapt successfully to the situation, when their children turn out rather different to what they had in mind.

Tricky.

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Confessions of a Liberal Puritan

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October