Confessions of a Liberal Puritan

Because I have trouble accessing anything on Xanga on my home computer (software too old, or something, I guess), but loved what one RL friend wrote recently in the comments on another friend's xanga blog, I had to offer this reprint of the "Bostonian Creed" (the ancient Nicene creed re-imagined for a secular age and faith):


The Bostonian Creed

by Matthew McMahon, 10/22/2004

We believe in one Park,
Fenway, the Fens,
built in 1912, never to be torn down or replaced,
of the Green Monster, the Manual Scoreboard, and Pesky's Pole.

We believe in one Team, the Boston Red Sox,
the Sons of Tito Francona,
Cowboys and Idiots,
begotten by Charles W. Somers,
owned by Kililea, Taylor, McAleer, Lannin,
Frazee, and Quinn;
loved and tended for decades by the Yawkeys;
redeemed by the trio of Henry, Werner and Lucchino;
World Champions in 1903, 1912, 1915, 1916, and 1918;
of one soul with all Bostonians.
For our anguish they were cursed under Harry Frazee;
they suffered the loss of Babe Ruth and were buried for 84 years
in a tomb of poor management, chronic choking,
Game 7 losses and "bleepin'" Yankees antiheroics.
On the 20th of October, 2004, they rose again
in accordance with the records of the Elias Sports Bureau;
they ascended to the World Series
and [face] the St Louis Cardinals.
They will come again in glory to judge the Yankees,
and their reign atop the American League East will have no end.

We believe in one Center Fielder, Johnny Damon, the Untamed Mane, the Leadoff Batter,
who proceeds from the legacy of Speaker;
one Left Fielder, Manny Ramirez, who proceeds from the legacy of
Williams, Yastrzemski and Rice;
one Number One Starting Pitcher, Curt Schilling, in the distinguished line
of Cobb, Grove, Parnell, Tiant, Clemens, and Martinez.
With the entire Postseason Roster they are worshiped and glorified.
They have spoken through the frantic and paranoid Boston Media.
We believe in one (largely Irish Catholic) Red Sox Nation.
We acknowledge hatred of the Yankees for the forgiveness of sins.
We look for the unfreezing and proper burial of Ted Williams,
and the World Series championships to come. Amen.

Posted 10/22/2004 at 11:39 AM by FzxGkJssFrk

See the original post and comments at http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=braymp&tab=weblogs&uid=147288909.

And to all those Red Sox fans and their enablers out there: keep the faith!