Confessions of a Liberal Puritan

In honor of the start of the Advent season today (and the end of my Thanksgiving break from teaching), I offer my version of "The First Twelve Days of Advent as an Adjunct Professor":

[11/28/04]
On the first day of Advent, my students came to me --
With a pile of papers, killing a tree.

[11/29/04]
On the second day of Advent, my students came to me --
With two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.

[11/30/04]
On the third day of Advent, my students came to me --
With three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.

[12/01/04]
On the fourth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.

[12/02/04]
On the fifth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.

[12/03/04]
On the sixth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.

[12/04/04]
On the seventh day of Advent, my students came to me --
With seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.

[12/05/04]
On the eighth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With eight term paper re-writes,
Seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.

[12/06/04]
On the ninth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With nine pleas for lenience,
Eight term paper re-writes,
Seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.

[12/07/04]
On the tenth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With ten early flights home,
Nine pleas for lenience,
Eight term paper re-writes,
Seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.

[12/08/04]
On the eleventh day of Advent, my students came to me --
With eleven last-minute questions,
Ten early flights home,
Nine pleas for lenience,
Eight term paper re-writes,
Seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.

[12/09/04]
On the twelfth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With twelve missing blue-books,
Eleven last-minute questions,
Ten early flights home,
Nine pleas for lenience,
Eight term paper re-writes,
Seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.