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revdorothyl at 02:17pm on 28/11/2004 under bloody awful poetry
revdorothyl at 02:17pm on 28/11/2004 under bloody awful poetryIn honor of the start of the Advent season today (and the end of my Thanksgiving break from teaching), I offer my version of "The First Twelve Days of Advent as an Adjunct Professor":
[11/28/04]
On the first day of Advent, my students came to me --
With a pile of papers, killing a tree.
[11/29/04]
On the second day of Advent, my students came to me --
With two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.
[11/30/04]
On the third day of Advent, my students came to me --
With three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.
[12/01/04]
On the fourth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.
[12/02/04]
On the fifth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.
[12/03/04]
On the sixth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.
[12/04/04]
On the seventh day of Advent, my students came to me --
With seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.
[12/05/04]
On the eighth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With eight term paper re-writes,
Seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.
[12/06/04]
On the ninth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With nine pleas for lenience,
Eight term paper re-writes,
Seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.
[12/07/04]
On the tenth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With ten early flights home,
Nine pleas for lenience,
Eight term paper re-writes,
Seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.
[12/08/04]
On the eleventh day of Advent, my students came to me --
With eleven last-minute questions,
Ten early flights home,
Nine pleas for lenience,
Eight term paper re-writes,
Seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.
[12/09/04]
On the twelfth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With twelve missing blue-books,
Eleven last-minute questions,
Ten early flights home,
Nine pleas for lenience,
Eight term paper re-writes,
Seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.
[11/28/04]
On the first day of Advent, my students came to me --
With a pile of papers, killing a tree.
[11/29/04]
On the second day of Advent, my students came to me --
With two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.
[11/30/04]
On the third day of Advent, my students came to me --
With three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.
[12/01/04]
On the fourth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.
[12/02/04]
On the fifth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.
[12/03/04]
On the sixth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.
[12/04/04]
On the seventh day of Advent, my students came to me --
With seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.
[12/05/04]
On the eighth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With eight term paper re-writes,
Seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.
[12/06/04]
On the ninth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With nine pleas for lenience,
Eight term paper re-writes,
Seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.
[12/07/04]
On the tenth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With ten early flights home,
Nine pleas for lenience,
Eight term paper re-writes,
Seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.
[12/08/04]
On the eleventh day of Advent, my students came to me --
With eleven last-minute questions,
Ten early flights home,
Nine pleas for lenience,
Eight term paper re-writes,
Seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.
[12/09/04]
On the twelfth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With twelve missing blue-books,
Eleven last-minute questions,
Ten early flights home,
Nine pleas for lenience,
Eight term paper re-writes,
Seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.
(no subject)
And I'm dying laughing!
I hope things go a bit better in RL than in your poem, but I've been married to a teacher for over 20 years and I know it's as accurate as it is funny!
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With twelve missing blue-books,
Eleven last-minute questions,
Ten early flights home,
Nine pleas for lenience,
Eight term paper re-writes,
Seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.
Love it, Lori! All tutors should have this on their walls.
(no subject)
I'm printing this out
Re: I'm printing this out
I have recorded verse 12
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Here's hoping that reality doesn't turn out to be quite this hairy in the coming weeks, for any of us teachers!
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Also, I haven't been commenting here lately, since summer, but I am reading all the time! ::hugs::
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'Tis the season -- academically speaking!
The administration demands that we turn in our work (final grades, evaluations, etc.) by a certain time on a certain day, so we have to get cranky with our students . . . especially with those wildly optimistic souls who've put off studying until the last minute, in the belief that, somehow, somebody will take care of them and make sure they pass their courses without having to do much actual work!
Bless their little soon-to-be-disappointed hearts!
(no subject)
And also a rather accurate description of the situation my significant other (English and Chemistry at a local vocational college) is in at the moment. So I'm forwarding right away...
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And you know -- not just an adjunct thing! Multiply it by the number of classes you teach....
Last thing: the dead grandmother syndrome
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And yes, when I was teaching three courses (still as an adjunct, for peanuts and no benefits) in the Fall semester of 2006, it was even worse than back when I only had one class of 30+ students to worry about!