revdorothyl: missmurchsion made this (BAP)
revdorothyl ([personal profile] revdorothyl) wrote2004-11-28 02:17 pm
Entry tags:

The 12 Days of Advent (for adjunct professors near the semester's end)

In honor of the start of the Advent season today (and the end of my Thanksgiving break from teaching), I offer my version of "The First Twelve Days of Advent as an Adjunct Professor":

[11/28/04]
On the first day of Advent, my students came to me --
With a pile of papers, killing a tree.


[11/29/04]
On the second day of Advent, my students came to me --
With two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.


[11/30/04]
On the third day of Advent, my students came to me --
With three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.


[12/01/04]
On the fourth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.


[12/02/04]
On the fifth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.


[12/03/04]
On the sixth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.


[12/04/04]
On the seventh day of Advent, my students came to me --
With seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.


[12/05/04]
On the eighth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With eight term paper re-writes,
Seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.


[12/06/04]
On the ninth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With nine pleas for lenience,
Eight term paper re-writes,
Seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.


[12/07/04]
On the tenth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With ten early flights home,
Nine pleas for lenience,
Eight term paper re-writes,
Seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.


[12/08/04]
On the eleventh day of Advent, my students came to me --
With eleven last-minute questions,
Ten early flights home,
Nine pleas for lenience,
Eight term paper re-writes,
Seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.


[12/09/04]
On the twelfth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With twelve missing blue-books,
Eleven last-minute questions,
Ten early flights home,
Nine pleas for lenience,
Eight term paper re-writes,
Seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.

[identity profile] missmurchison.livejournal.com 2004-11-28 12:23 pm (UTC)(link)
With six grandmas dying

And I'm dying laughing!

I hope things go a bit better in RL than in your poem, but I've been married to a teacher for over 20 years and I know it's as accurate as it is funny!

[identity profile] revdorothyl.livejournal.com 2004-11-28 01:37 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm hoping RL won't be this bad, also. But it never hurts to be prepared for the worst!

[identity profile] cindyamb.livejournal.com 2004-11-28 12:36 pm (UTC)(link)
i choke sputter snerk

[identity profile] revdorothyl.livejournal.com 2004-11-28 01:36 pm (UTC)(link)
So glad you enjoyed!

[identity profile] keswindhover.livejournal.com 2004-11-28 12:59 pm (UTC)(link)
On the twelfth day of Advent, my students came to me --
With twelve missing blue-books,
Eleven last-minute questions,
Ten early flights home,
Nine pleas for lenience,
Eight term paper re-writes,
Seven late assignments,
Six grandmas dying,
Five extra credit projects!
Four flu-like symptoms,
Three lame excuses,
Two urgent phone calls,
And a pile of papers, killing a tree.


Love it, Lori! All tutors should have this on their walls.

[identity profile] revdorothyl.livejournal.com 2004-11-28 01:39 pm (UTC)(link)
It might be too depressing!

I'm printing this out

[identity profile] klytaimnestra.livejournal.com 2004-11-28 01:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Okay if I circulate it to my colleagues? It's wonderful.

Re: I'm printing this out

[identity profile] revdorothyl.livejournal.com 2004-11-28 01:33 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm flattered! Be my guest!

I have recorded verse 12

[identity profile] klytaimnestra.livejournal.com 2004-11-28 01:51 pm (UTC)(link)
The recording's not perfect but it was too much fun to resist. You'll find it at http://members.shaw.ca/lbowman/advent.mp3 .
ext_2333: "That's right,  people, I am a constant surprise." (Default)

[identity profile] makd.livejournal.com 2004-11-28 02:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Don't have to adjunct to find this funny! I'm a tenured full, and I'm laughing out loud here. May I have your permission to share this with colleagues, including crediting you, of course!

[identity profile] revdorothyl.livejournal.com 2004-11-28 02:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Share away! I'm flattered that you like it and find this familiar enough to be funny.

Here's hoping that reality doesn't turn out to be quite this hairy in the coming weeks, for any of us teachers!

[identity profile] avrelia.livejournal.com 2004-11-28 05:05 pm (UTC)(link)
I love it! I, of course, look at things from s student prespectiveright now. ;)

Also, I haven't been commenting here lately, since summer, but I am reading all the time! ::hugs::

[identity profile] revdorothyl.livejournal.com 2004-11-29 03:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks, sweetie! ::hugs back::

[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/caraway_/ 2004-11-30 02:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh lordy, why do we put up with it. Just the same halfway across the world, and I'm getting in touch with my inner fascist.

[identity profile] revdorothyl.livejournal.com 2004-12-01 08:48 am (UTC)(link)
"...and I'm getting in touch with my inner fascist."

'Tis the season -- academically speaking!

The administration demands that we turn in our work (final grades, evaluations, etc.) by a certain time on a certain day, so we have to get cranky with our students . . . especially with those wildly optimistic souls who've put off studying until the last minute, in the belief that, somehow, somebody will take care of them and make sure they pass their courses without having to do much actual work!

Bless their little soon-to-be-disappointed hearts!

[identity profile] bimo.livejournal.com 2008-12-03 06:56 pm (UTC)(link)
This is fabulous! :-)

And also a rather accurate description of the situation my significant other (English and Chemistry at a local vocational college) is in at the moment. So I'm forwarding right away...

[identity profile] revdorothyl.livejournal.com 2008-12-03 08:50 pm (UTC)(link)
My sympathies to your significant other, and best wishes for surviving final exams and grading woes!
ext_2333: "That's right,  people, I am a constant surprise." (oh dear lord)

[identity profile] makd.livejournal.com 2008-12-04 03:01 am (UTC)(link)
6 grandmas dying!!! That's the one that I never, ever, get over.

And you know -- not just an adjunct thing! Multiply it by the number of classes you teach....

Last thing: the dead grandmother syndrome

[identity profile] revdorothyl.livejournal.com 2008-12-04 05:48 pm (UTC)(link)
I loved that article on 'Dead Grandmother Syndrome', but I'd lost the email copy someone had forwarded to me years ago. Thanks for the link!

And yes, when I was teaching three courses (still as an adjunct, for peanuts and no benefits) in the Fall semester of 2006, it was even worse than back when I only had one class of 30+ students to worry about!