Confessions of a Liberal Puritan

Having promised my "Understanding the Bible" students extra credit if they decided to go see "One Night with the King", the movie based on the book of Esther (or sort of -- mostly it's based on a novel called Hadassah, apparently), and having discovered that it's still playing at the multiplex closest to my house, I figured I'd better go see it this afternoon, while I had the chance, just so I'd be able to respond somewhat knowledgeably to any extra credit papers turned in.

Plus, I wanted to see what James Callis (Gaius Baltar on BSG) looked like when he wasn't playing a neurotic anti-hero with Cylon girlfriends on the brain.

In "One Night With the King" Callis plays Haman, the undisputed villain of the biblical book of Esther -- though aside from Esther and Mordecai, it'd be hard to identify any actually heroic persons in that bible book, where the 'romantic lead' King Ahasuerus (a.k.a. Xerxes in most history books) seems to be a drunken wimp with no ideas of his own and the attention span of a rodent on crack.

My verdict on Callis as Haman? Very watchable, and doing his best to be un-Baltar-like by deepening his voice to a menacing growl most of the time and looking hot and exquisitely groomed (very nice in a thick, silky black beard and mustache) at all times, while running the emotional gamut from icy cold rage to passionate hatred.

Peter O'Toole shows up in a virtual cameo as a blue-eyed prophet Samuel who's mightily pissed off at King Saul for not killing King Agag of the Amalekites as ordered (yes, they go all the way back to "Saul's Big Mistake" in I Samuel, in order to try to explain why Haman seems so determined on committing genocide in response to a slight perceived insult from one Jew named Mordecai -- Haman's a descendent of Agag, sworn to bloody vengeance, and achieving power in Persia is only a means to that hereditary end).

Omar Sharif has considerably more screen time than O'Toole as King Xerxes' loyal and level-headed anti-war general. He's charming and endearing as ever.

But the real scene-stealer is -- unsurprisingly -- John Rhys-Davies as Mordecai, who definitely gets the last word and makes a very lovable uncle and royal scribe.

The guy I really only remember for playing the mad Steward of Gondor in the LotR movies is appropriately sleazy and detestable as a double-dealing royal cousin of the King and a very disposable villain.

The hotness factor was supposed to be provided by Luke Goss as a high-cheekboned and really-very-nice-shirtless King Xerxes, as well as the blond kid playing Jesse, the grandson of Mordecai's cook and Hadassah's childhood sweetheart. However, Xerxes' dialogue often seemed to be strangely out of sync (not literally, I don't think, but just OFF somehow, in its rhythms and enunciation) so that I often felt like I was working too hard to try to figure out what he'd just said (which, on the occasions when I did figure it out, wasn't usually that profound). The glances exchanged between Xerxes and Esther were smoldering enough, but I found Esther's daughter-like bond of affection with the imposing Chief Eunuch rather more touching, emotionally. As for the kid who plays the somewhat unfortunate Jesse? Well, he was pretty to look at when he wasn't trying to speak.

Overall, I was happier when other actors (not the supposed contenders for Esther's womanly affections) were doing most of the talking.

And I got the most sensual stimulation from wondering if all that long black chest-hair peeping out of James Callis' occasional low-cut necklines was real or just a really nice contribution from the makeup department.

I was surprised at how FULL the theater was this afternoon, since the film's been playing here in Nashville on at least four multiplex screens for over a week, and it's not well-advertised, seemingly. But from the conversations going on all around me, I gathered that many of those in the auditorium with me were "church people" who rarely went to the movies, but had been lured out by the promise of a 'family-friendly' biblical spectacle/romance.

Judging by the applause when Esther and the King's wedding night quickly segued from a tentative and fully-clothed kiss in the royal bedchamber to "next morning" shots of spectacular waterfalls in the convincing and breath-taking CGI version of the royal palace of Susa, I gathered that they were VERY well satisfied with what the film delivered.

In fact, it's been a while since I've been in the theater with such an appreciative audience, who seem genuinely engaged and honestly amused by the not-so-surprising plot twists and occasional acts of heroism. People were leaving that theater looking very pleased with their afternoon's entertainment.

And as for me? Well, yes, I guess I was pleased, also. It was gorgeous to look at, there were enough decent and charming actors to keep me interested and entertained. And I liked the depiction of Esther as a Jewish Scheherazade who wins the chief eunuch's respect and lifelong devotion by reading him Gilgamesh "in the original" and who spices up the reading of dusty royal diaries by interpolating the Genesis stories of Jacob and Rachel and Leah.

If only there had been more time (or perhaps more talent) in the writing and filming of the 'romantic' conversations between Esther and Xerxes, I think I would've been even better satisfied, for I was intrigued by the fact that they both seemed to quickly identify Xerxes with Rachel (the one who has to be courted and worked for) and Esther with Jacob (the one who has to do all the 'heavy lifting' in the relationship, apparently). When Xerxes goes slightly off the deep end of insecurity and jealousy, thinking that after all he's only Esther's "Leah" and not the "Rachel" she really loved and wanted, it kind of worked on an emotional level, for me. But there wasn't enough of that particular use and reinterpretation of the bible, and it wasn't enunciated or acted clearly enough, to make me recommend this film whole-heartedly as any kind of 'subversive' or 'hidden' gem for those of us looking for new perspectives on the stories we've known from earliest childhood.