Confessions of a Liberal Puritan

Unfortunately, I don't think I can come up with a better birthday present than the Edward Gorey cat earrings your kids gave you, but here's my humble offering, attempting to appeal to your love for both Cary Grant and Spike.

Thanks to the kind folks at http://www.carygrant.net/songs.html#LYRICS:, I was able to get the lyrics for "Pass Me By" (Carolyn Leigh/Cy Coleman), which was used as the theme song for the Cary Grant comedy "Father Goose" (http://www.ajmackintosh.ukgateway.net/film/PassMeBy.txt), which naturally gave rise to the following scenario in my mind:

Pater Goose

(a Spike/Buffy version of the Cary Grant/Leslie Caron film -- though the working title could also be Father Gruesome, I suppose):

Spike, post-“Not Fade Away” (having somehow survived the showdown in the alleyway), seeks rest and recuperation somewhere in the wilds of Northern California, only to have his cheerfully grubby existence interrupted by the unexpected arrival of Buffy and a dozen newly discovered Slayers on the verge of puberty. Hijinks ensue as Spike is forced to finally face Buffy and everything that had been left hanging between them since the end of “Chosen” and to become paterfamilias for pre-pubescent Slayers on the run from Wolfram-and-Hart-wannabes.

The movie’s theme song goes something like this (this one's for you, missmurchison!):

“I’ve got me ten fine toes to kick a little ass,
And no Great Pouf to tell me I’m too crass.
A lively pair of fists to deal with any sass.
Contemplatin’ mayhem can be fascinatin’.
Add to this some fangs that I can bare,
And nary a care have I,
So tell the whole darn world, ‘Next time you need savin',
Deal me out, thank you kindly, pass me by.’”

Chorus: “Pass me by-y, pass me by-y-y.
If you’re lookin’ for a champion, pass me by.”

“I’ve got me nice dark cave to keep out of the sun,
And no pesky Slayer spoiling all the fun.
Blood enough to drink from critters on the run.
When fur is flyin’, I’m no bloomin’ dandy-lion!
Add to these a soul to call my own,
And no more cause to moan have I.
So tell the whole darn world, ‘If you don’t like my deportment,
Deal me out, thank you kindly, pass me by.’”

Chorus: “Pass me by-y, pass me by-y-y.
If you don’t happen to like it, pass me by.”


Once again, belated happy birthday, Miss M!