Confessions of a Liberal Puritan

I try to get out, and the bureaucrats in Hell just keep pulling me back in with their insidious plot bunnies. But this is almost certainly the last ficlet in this series . . . for a while, anyway.

The first installment of this ficlet series is here

This chapter and the preceding one DO include spoilers for all of AtS season 5.

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TEST ON PART 2 OF NEW EMPLOYEE ORIENTATION FILMSTRIP, COVERING HANDBOOK SECTION 6.6

(Supervisor’s Edition: Correct Answers and Official Procedures Included)

Instructions: Remember, all tests must be written in blood and filed in triplicate.

( The Test Questions )

This concludes Part Two of the New Employee Orientation Test. Do not share the contents of this test with anyone else, upon pain of Termination and Eternal Evisceration.

Have a Not-Nice Day!

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This addition to the story -- which DOES contain spoilers for all of season 5 of AtS -- is dedicated to a reviewer over on Twisting the Hellmouth who wanted to know what the infernal regions might have to say about Cordy. I found I couldn't resist that idea!

Hope you enjoy.

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NEW EMPLOYEE ORIENTATION TO HELL FILMSTRIP, PART TWO


Somewhere in a classroom in Hell there’s the sound of an infectious musical beat, accompanied by the much less attractive sound of the clicking, whistling, gurgling, and screeching in a demon dialect that some demonic species (mostly the ones without human-like vocal cords or hearing apparatus) would translate as ‘singing’ . . .


“...You know it’s hard out here for an imp (you ain’t knowin’)..."

"Are you sure you're singing that right?"

"You simply have no ear for music."

“Wait, are we recording yet? Okay, starting . . . now!”

*beep*

"This filmstrip contains part two of a multi-part overview of section 6.6 of the New Employee Handbook: 'Avoiding Mistakes That Lead to Employee Termination and Eternal Evisceration.' Please give your full attention to the images on the overhead screen, as there will be another test at the conclusion of this presentation."

( Read more... )

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Okay, so I'd thought New Employee Orientation to Hell was just a one-shot BtVS ficlet, but then it seemed to beg for a follow-up.

The link to Part Two of the New Hires Orientation Filmstrip from Hell can be found at the end of this post.

In the meantime, here's the first part of the test on the Hellish New Employee Orientation Filmstrip, covering the menace posed by the Scoobies and associated entities.

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TEST ON PART 1 OF NEW EMPLOYEE ORIENTATION FILMSTRIP, COVERING HANDBOOK SECTION 6.6

(SUPERVISOR'S EDITION: CORRECT ANSWERS AND OFFICIAL PROCEDURES INCLUDED)

Instructions: Remember, all tests must be written in blood and filed in triplicate.

( The Test Questions )

This concludes Part One of the New Employee Orientation Test. Do not share the contents of this test with anyone else, upon pain of Termination and Eternal Evisceration.

Thank you for not littering. Remember, in the unlikely event that you survive the Orientation Process, this Hell will be your Home, too, and we must all Help to Keep Our Hell Tidy.

On to Part Two of the Filmstrip

Summary: Part of the mandatory orientation program for new hires in Hell includes a filmstrip on the hazards posed by a group known as 'The Scoobies.'

( Disclaimers )

As always, no infringement of copyright is intended and no profit is being made. This is just for fun (I hope!).

The fic (which isn't a story so much as a transcript of a Hellish orientation session) is set post-"Chosen" but contains no spoilers for anything in season 5 of Angel.


"NEW EMPLOYEE ORIENTATION TO HELL"

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Somewhere in a classroom in Hell . . .


*beep*

"This filmstrip contains part of an overview of section 6.6 of the New Employee Handbook: 'Avoiding Mistakes That Lead to Employee Termination and Eternal Evisceration.' ( Read more... )