Confessions of a Liberal Puritan

I probably won't get a chance to post tomorrow on the actual 25th anniversary of the airing of the first "MacGyver" episode in the U.S., so I figured I'd better lay my annual (and increasingly seedy-looking) tribute on the altar of my TV religion today.

So here it is (again), slightly revised (again): my "Ode on the Feast Day of St. MacGyver".

I was originally inspired to write this by passing references to MacGyver as a "patron saint" that I picked up on a couple of TV shows (my Google-fu couldn't find my original source, but did find quotes about MacGyver as patron saint from folks like Alton Brown of "Good Eats" fame and the "Mythbusters" crew, and even one website nominating MacGyver for the coveted title of Patron Saint of Noble Gas Labs).

I first posted this bit of doggerel in honor of the 20th anniversary of the airing of the first "MacGyver" episode back in 2005, and the poem hasn't gotten any better with age, but here it is again, with slight modifications, in case you missed it the first few times.

"An Ode on St. MacGyver's Day" (Sept. 29, 2010 being the silver anniversary of the airing of the "MacGyver" pilot episode on U.S. television.)

Hail to thee, Saint MacGyver,
for seven years a constant striver
after peace and eco-justice.
Your legacy lives on -- just trust us!

This hallowed day (your pseudo-natal)
we dedicate to stunts non-fatal
and creative use of science lore
that ushered out an old, Cold War.

In some Opening Gambits by Terry Nation
you first captured our imagination.
Your Swiss Army Knife and roll of Duct Tape
got you out of more than one scrape.

We celebrate those seasons when you
became a social conscience venue,
and NPR was a week behind
on liberal issues that you brought to mind.

Though guns you did not care to handle,
no well-armed thug could hold a candle
to your talent for turning all things found
into minor miracles upon the ground.

When relationship issues got too hairy,
your “Serenity” was Legend-ary.*
And even arch-foe Murdoc couldn’t resist
returning to you, the one he missed.

So, here’s to health food and clean living! --
we can stand it for a day, to show thanksgiving
for one who taught but did not harangue us.
And we’ll never tell that you were baptized “Angus”!

*In the Old West dream episodes Serenity (#95) and MacGyver's Women (#112), MacGyver got a chance to work out a quarrel with best buddy Pete Thornton and then the suggestion from three of the women in his life that he was (gasp!) commitment-phobic — all the while sporting a shaggy mustache and manner that we would see again on Richard Dean Anderson’s short-lived UPN series Legend (a Science Fiction Western more reminiscent of The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. than The Wild, Wild West, at times, with RDA playing Nicodemus Legend, fictional hero of his own dime novels, and John DeLancie as the Bohemian scientist who turned Legend’s imaginary inventions into reality and Legend himself into a reluctant real hero).