Confessions of a Liberal Puritan

My nose is running off my face, there's a 'slosh'-ing sound behind my ears when I turn my head, my muscles and joints are aching, and my brain seems to be running in slow-motion, like some cheesy special effect from the 1970's (yes, I'm talking about YOU, Steve Austin and Jaimie Sommers!). Oh, and "Angel" has apparently been cancelled. Other than that, life is just peachy-keen.

But before I turn this into even more of a "pity me" party, let me distract myself by sharing a few of my thoughts about last week's "Angel" (5.13 "Why We Fight"), which I finally got to see over the weekend. I'd been warned not to expect too much of the '1943' episode, so naturally I was pleasantly surprised by how interesting I found it.

Setting aside (for the moment) the aspects of the story which seem to contradict "School Hard" (an episode which had already been stretched a bit by later revelations that Spike is closer to 100 than 200 years old and that Angelus was in fact Spike's grand-sire, rather than his sire) -- raising questions like why would Spike not have known already that Angel was more likely to be helping the humans than fellow vampires when they met in "School Hard," if they'd previously had this experience on a submarine in 1943? -- I quite liked the discussion of purpose vs. following orders, of people vs. the mission, and of the pitfalls inherent in trying to defeat evil by doing evil. Giving the "Initiative" roots in the Allied war effort during WWII (like the CIA, in the OSS) was a nice touch, and all the more credible if the Nazis had thought of it first (thus making it easier to justify, that this is what we have to do in order not to lose the race to harness the weapons-potential of the demon -- or the atom --first, for our side). The suggestion that Gunn's enhanced knowledge of the law may be fading, since they've lost the white room and their direct conduit to the Senior Partners, also raised some intriguing possibilities for future episodes. And I LOVED the idea of Angel as "Captain Undead America," the super-soldier/secret-weapon come to save the Allied cause.

Except for nearly decapitating Fred, Wes, and Gunn (which besides being unkind was also uninteresting to look at, giving the actors nothing much to do), I found the Lawson character very sympathetic. Ensign Lawson was clearly a good guy, if a tad naive ("our side wouldn't DO that!"-- echoes of Riley Finn, anyone?) -- but no more naive than could be expected from any other soldier or sailor or civilian in his position at that time (a much less cynical age, as we're often reminded, and vampire Lawson himself refers nostalgically to how much simpler things used to seem, when the lines between good guys and bad guys seemed easier to draw, and all). Watching his tragedy unfold, as he received his mortal wound and Angel, in order to save the lives of all the other humans on board and get the sub to safe waters, is forced to turn him into a vampire, was like watching some ancient Greek play, knowing that the very strengths and virtues that make the hero so admirable and sympathetic also contain the seeds of his destruction and downfall. Lawson is the only one with the know-how to repair the engines, making him the unfortunate indispensable, and he is a true believer, a man whose need for a REASON, for something to believe in and stand firm upon, is so great that he can neither lose himself in pure evil nor forgive Angel for damning him in a cause he would gladly have died for. Now THAT'S some serious, old-time tragedy.

By the way, Lawson's complaint that Angel had apparently given him just enough of his soul to make him neither fish nor fowl, neither the whole-hearted human he used to be nor the whole-hearted monster he should be now, not only brought back memories of a similar complaint from lovelorn and chipped Spike (just before he decided to go off and get his soul back), but also got me wondering about the apparent fact that not all vampires are created equal (some, such as Spike, being able to love still, and others, like Angelus and Darla, apparently immune to anything like real love). I'm wondering if believing you're already damned BEFORE you become a vampire leads to a more thorough-going demonic transformation (as with the unrepentant and angry Darla, or Angel/Liam with his sense of self and self-worth already beaten into the ground by his father, or Drusilla whom Angelus had tormented with the idea that her visions made her demonic and evil before finally driving her mad from emotional abuse), while having some assurance of or aspiration towards a state of grace leads to a little more leeway, a little more room for choice (as William/Spike with his poetic soul, or Lawson with his sense of having an almost sacred mission). Or maybe not. Never mind.

I hate to keep harping on the "mirror" idea, but Lawson DID seem to be a kind of mirror image of Angel this time around. First, human Lawson had the sense of belief and purpose that souled-but-not-going-to-get-involved-unless-forced-into-it Angel lacked. Then, vampire Lawson seemed to feel to an extreme the sense of emptiness which worried Angel in his "Soul Purpose" hallucinations, the sense that without a purpose, without a mission provided from some source outside himself, existence was meaningless and unendurable. "Suicide by Angel" would be an accurate description of what happened to Lawson in the end, I think; to me, at least, Lawson seemed to be much more interested in getting Angel riled enough to kill him than in seeking some hopeless revenge by hurting Angel through his "crew" or forcing Angel to give him a revelation of the meaning of his unlife. If Angel can no longer look to his own conduit to the Powers That Be (Cordelia, now deceased) to provide him with a mission, and if the Shanshu prophecy might not be all about him after all, then is he in danger of ending up like Lawson? Or does Angel's possession of a soul mean he has more resistence to despair (or more ability to FEEL despair -- it could go either way)? Does "the mission" for Angel finally come down to the people, after all? To the realization that each life saved and each moment of friendship shared is an end in itself, rather than a means to some greater end or higher destiny? Are we due to revisit Angel's "Epiphany" reflections sometime soon? Tune in tomorrow, I guess.

As a final note, Spike-lover that I am, I have to say that I can totally believe that Spike would NEVER voluntarily join anything as regimented as the S.S. but would get a kick (briefly) out of wearing the jacket if he happened to kill one, but I strenuously object to the suggestion that Spike would be so stupid and gullible that an obvious trap like a "free virgin blood" party would be enough to put him (temporarily, at least) at the disposal of the Nazis. Though, that only applies if the party was ostensibly being put on by humans; if it was supposed to be a vampire-hosted event, then I guess I could see it (since we all know how much Spike enjoys an evil party, now and then). Still, I've seen more than enough "simple-minded Spike" or "shallow Spike" in recent episodes. Time for the Spike who isn't just comic relief or on hand to make Angel look brilliant and deep by comparison to make an appearance again. Just my opinion, of course.